Remember when you were much younger? What was your life like? Was it free, fair and much fun before adulthood and all the responsibilities that come with it visited you and refused to go. Haha.
Did you have to worry about who liked you or not? Do you know what it feels like to be you, your true you?
If I asked you who you are, what will be your response?
Cast your mind back at your childhood, before the world told you who and how you were supposed to live and act? What were your dreams? Everything was possible to you right? Is it still so? Or has life taught you to ‘face reality?’
Who are you really? If you were to have another name, what would you call yourself?
I grew up with alot of comparison and emotional abuse that made me feel like I needed to please people to be liked and accepted. I grew up in a large family and my parents were oblivious to what was happening and having experiencd that at an early age, I guess I didn’t see anything wrong with it. Not until secondary school did I realize what a mess I was – a people pleasing and fearful yet brilliant and beautiful girl. The damage didn’t show on my face but when you came close, you’d notice it in either the way I shove you off or hold onto you desperately if I eventually let you in. And with God, it was another matter. I subtly believed that I had to ‘perform’ for God to love me. I didn’t even know I had that belief and my spiritual walk was often frustrating.
Somehow, I managed to go through secondary school and University with that image. In 2010 when I started working, my flaws stared to show and show really bad. Blending in at work was war because of all the issues I had inside me. And you know work environment is different from school. I knew I had to find an answer. At same time, I came to terms with another discovery that led me to write a book but that will be in another post. Today, I want to concentrate on authenticity.
I’m not a BigBrother Fan but I’m kinda binge-watching this season with amazing inputs from my sisters who are keenly watching. I’m not sure I have a favorite person but Tacha appears to be one girl I’ve watched closely because I can really identify with her struggles. She comes across as a rude and showy girl but all I see is a little girl who had it really hard and bad growing up, who has learnt to defend and show up for herself in the way she knows best. She might not be doing it the right way but her actions reveal someone who is trying to get away from being pulled back to the past. She has obviously gone through some and she spoke a little about in on the show. After she came out of the secret room with seyi, her attitude began to change and for about 2 weeks or so, she was somewhat a different person, because she saw someone who was willing to see life with her, talk with her, listen to her and talk to her, her inner her.
From what we saw, Seyi really spoke to her because she felt heard and listened to but after a while, she reverted. Her old her took over. Now imagine if she had that exposure consistently over a period of 6 months, a different girl will emerge and likely remain. But most importantly, what if she could be the one holding those conversations she held with Seyi; whatever they were, with herself. What if she could ask herself the right questions and face her truth without shame, fear or guilt. And what if she could open up to the Ultimate truth and accept that truth as her true reality. Imagine the change that will result. A change she didn’t have to wait for another Seyi-conversation, to initiate. A change I initiated when I decide to know my truth and live it.
I see myself in alot of women. And I also see Tacha in alot of women. We might not all approach life with the defences of Tacha or my own defences but alot of us are fighting battles of life, trying so hard not to get pulled into what we are running away from. You see it in the way we defend ourselves with our words, the way we try to pull each down, directly or subtly, the way we cling onto people like our life depends on them; or the way we push people away as if their getting close to us is the beginning of our destruction. You see it in the way we cut people down or the way we try to make others feel, just so we can feel better. But we don’t. At the end we often feel miserable doing those things but because we are not sure how else to get the answers, we remain there. We are all running away. Running away from whatever makes us feel…..(fill in the gaps)
But before we run, let’s stop and find out who we really are because when we do, maybe we won’t need to run.
Maybe, just maybe, when we find out who we really are, we’ll turn back and face whatever it is we’re running away from, and conquer it.
Maybe when we find out who we are, we’ll accept that those things people don’t like in us are the things that make us unique , that maybe it needs a little polishing or shining but that thing is our unique selling point.
Maybe if we find out who we are, we’d know that the attacks we are receiving have nothing to do with what we’ve done but has everything to do with who we really are and what we might do in the future.
Maybe. Just maybe if we find out who we are authentically, we’ll stop running and start living and actually thriving. But it all starts with the question, who truly are you?
And that’s why I invite you on this 7 day authenticity challenge to uncover your real you.
It’s an intense 7 day challenge designed to help you unearth your inner self and dive into your core so that you can identify the things that truly matter to you. This will help you live your life on more meaningful terms.
How it works: You will receive a series of introspective but kind-hearted questions everyday that will provoke your thoughts and creative imagination, causing you to have some critical conversations with yourself so you can decipher the values that truly matter to you.
The mail is structured into a scripture, a short exhortation, a prayer and a set of questions. It’s recommended that you open up your mail in the morning and go through it, putting the questions to mind. Then ruminate on the questions while you go about your daily activities, in a way that won’t be distracting to you. You can then come back in the evening and meditate deeply on the questions again after which you write your answers down. This is just a recommendation, feel free to do what works for you so long as you are able to give it time to think and to write.
Also, please write authentically. Write the truth. Your truth. If you have to get a journal that has a key to enable you tell the truth, please do. No one else will see it besides you and God, so you owe it to yourself to tell the truth no matter how unpleasant it is, for it is only in telling our truth that we can live His truth. When we tell our truth, we bring it out in the open and it’s no longer hidden. And then we can pick up the ultimate truth because nothing holds us bound anymore. No secrets, no shame.
What you’ll need-
– A journal. Hard copy is greatly recommended for keep sake but if you’d rather use an electronic journal, that’s fine too.
– A biro you’d like to write with.
– A set time to go through your mail in the morning and another set time to go through it in the evening. Please plan for both times as whatever gets planned has a high likelihood of happening.
Also, if you can, get some worship music playing as you write. Worship has a way of helping you go righttt inside you. Haha. You could also play it during the day if your work environment permits it.
That’s it. Simple isn’t it. Haha. So join me and other women (+ men too) who have given up on the right thing- living a life that is not aligned with who they truly are. Join the train of those who are saying yes to being who God has called them to be, without looking back, even when it hurts because they know the truth. Let’s walk away from the lustre of Babylon and all its enticement and let’s pursue what will truly set our core on fire…for all the right reasons.
Join me today here
Challenge starts October 7, 2019
See you in the other room- of authenticity
Faith, Love and Light