Maid Matters

Hey Doyenne,

Getting a suitable maid or house-help has been deemed a nightmare. In fact, most people believe that there aren’t good helps anymore because of all the gory stories we hear, see and sometimes experience about maids. While that is true and in fact does happen, we have to realise that there are also stories about helps who are maltreated by their bosses and some of these helps believe that good bosses don’t exist anymore. I’ve heard of a help that said she’d rather die than go live in someone’s house who was supposed to be her guardian. And of course we watch movies of how the help is maltreated but ends up becoming influential while the rich woman’s kids turn out to be spoilt brats. That’s not even the point, the point is, if there are really bad helps who have wrecked havoc on good families and there are good helps who have gotten into wicked families, there must be a mismatch somewhere. So while there might not be a lot of good helps everywhere, there are at least some good helps and if your heart is good, God can match you both together. But how do we get there?

1) What you believe matters: If you believe that there are wicked illiterate helps everywhere, that’s all you’ll ever experience. You have to consciously change that belief if not, the wrong help will be all you’ll ever attract. Belief is powerful. Ask yourself what you believe in the depth of your heart. I’ve always believed that there are good people and there are good helps and God will match us together. Shikena.

2) Pray about it and use Scriptures: Yes, It’s that important. I remember when I was pregnant with my first son, I prayed and told God about my work and all and how that this child is first His child and that I’m a custodian and that this baby I am in custody of, needs a good help. I asked for a nanny and honestly, how it happened, only God knows. Some woman who had never agreed to go be a nanny for anyone before then, suddenly agreed to work for me. And she was a very distant relative so it came with certain comfort. I reminded God of His Word and stayed in faith and it came through

3) Be intuitive: When choosing, choose with sense. Even with my prayer, there was a selection process. When you cast a net into the river, every fish around the circumference of the net will enter the net, so if it was tilapia fish for example, that you were looking for, you’ll select and eliminate. The same thing happens when you pray for marriage; it’s as if some drums were hit and suddenly, everyone is gathering at the market square 😊. Prayer is like a net. It opens the door but sometimes, it’s not only your blessings that walks through, other things that look like your blessing walk in too. But you know what you’re looking for so you select and eliminate. For example I wanted a nanny. I didn’t want a young lady. I was pretty green, first baby, didn’t know much. So a nanny with knowledge about babies was welcome. I also didn’t want a young woman. I wanted an elderly lady who’d be more patient with a baby. I also wanted someone that attended either of two particular denominations. No prejudice intended, it was just my choice because they are usually known to be devout. I got all of these and for the others that didn’t fit in, I moved on. When the final time came for selection, I listened to my Spirit and I selected the person that resonated with me deep inside. That is very important because you need someone who would understand you and get you.

4) Treat him or her well: Treat them well and pay them good. You might not give them as much as you give your kids but please don’t treat them like the Israelites in the land of Egypt. If you shout on them, let them know what made you angry and don’t call them names or tell them their life history. Remember two things; first, the way you treat your worker is the way your worker will treat your customers and in this instance, your worker is your help and your customer (even though that’s not the correct term per se but ermmm,😊, let it suffice for now), your customer in this case, is your child. Second, your kids are watching to see how you treat your help and what they learn, they’ll do not just to her but will extend it to others outside the home, so teach your kids to also treat your helps well. It’s never cool to see kids who treat the house help shabbily. It might sound like a bossy kinda thing to teach your child but it’s not smart at all. Such kids grow up with little or no empathy and understanding.
At same time, teach your helps to treat your kids well. No shouts and no beating. If your kids offend them, teach them(the helps) to come report to you and not handle it themselves.

5) Remain sensitive: That you got a good help doesn’t mean you’d let your guard down. And it doesn’t mean you get suspicious either. Observe everything going on and don’t abdicate the running of the home to your help. When the help starts to misbehave, ask before you judge. But if it’s especially serious, talk to God first before you talk to her. It’s that serious. God sees your heart and He’ll always protect you. I recall when my nanny started becoming dissatisfied with her stay. I’m not exactly sure what happened but God literally had to set the stage for me to see stuff for myself before I realized it was time to let her go. In retrospect, God knew my heart and He shielded me. It wasn’t that anything overly serious happened, it was just that it was time for her to go and God knew the season for her staying in my home had come to an end. So remain sensitive.

6) Delegate, don’t abdicate: This is really important and I can’t say it enough. When you get a good help and your schedules are always tight, there’s a tendency to allow the help be in charge so you can focus on work. No. Don’t do that. Your help might be good but don’t let her spoil you. Delegate but don’t let her run your home because you’re busy. You are still the madam. Don’t give room for ideas. And I’m not even talking about your husband, I’m talking about your home primarily. Be the CEO still and let her know she’s the worker. She can cook the food everyone eats but be the One to serve your husband. Don’t give her sensitive stuff to do such as washing your intimate undies or your husband’s briefs or boxers, create time for those yourself. You just have to.

7) Automate her work. Use timetables and lists to make it easier for her to do her work so that it is easier for you too; she won’t need to be taking instructions from you every minute. For example, I do a quarterly roster for my kids meal prep which I sometimes extend to half a year. I primarily plan the main dishes and then the protein and fruits and I draw out a timetable for it so she knows what she’s buying per week. I also have a timetable for the house meals and my husband’s special cuts so when making the shopping list for the week, she goes through all the timetables and lists out all we need for the week. She submits to me and I cross-check to either approve or make amends as I might alter some things in some seasons. She makes the list and I attach the costs. That way I know what she’s buying and I can monitor what goes in and out of my home, not because I’m suspicious but because I want to be in charge. Sometimes she does the costing and I review it. I also automate her duty schedule and occasionally pop in to check what she’s doing and ensure she’s sticking to it. This saves a lot of time for me and helps me ensure that she does her part of keeping my home the way I want it to be kept. That is very very important to me.

8) Finally, if you want to put extra checks in the house, please go ahead. All these points above don’t eliminate the need for extra checks if you so desire so if you feel like it, by all means please do. Do whatever gives you peace and in all your doing, just know that God has got your back.

What other tips can you add to this. Let’s get talking into the comments section

Love Ya!!

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